Rachel and her Toaster

This is a tale about Rachel, our Graphic Designer
Who bought a really nice Toaster that was none finer
She saw her nice new Toaster in her local superstore
Thinking, that’s a nice Toaster, I couldn’t ask for any more

Rachel Handed over her hard earned money
Wondering why all these people were giving her looks so funny
She collected her Toaster all shiny and Gleaming
Rachel proud, her smile beaming

But it was only when we found out the cost, that people began to ponder
We learnt that it cost ninety pounds and then we began to wonder
“How much did it cost?” Andrew asks
“Ninety pounds” says Rachel, attempting a Photoshop task
“You bought a Toaster for Ninety Quid?
Those shop assistants must have thought you had flipped your lid!”

So Rachel having a day like being on a rollercoaster
Is asked what is so special about this Toaster?
“It will last me a very long time
Don’t go on as if I have committed a crime”

Have you heard Rachel’s bought a Toaster for ninety pounds Andy tells Steve
“You paid ninety pounds for a Toaster, that I cannot believe”
Rachel moving on to a task in QuarkXpress
Was now becoming under some stress

“Have you used it yet?” is the next query
“No”, says Rachel becoming quite weary
“Do you mean it has not lost its virginity”
“No, I am saving it for my new house when I find it in the right vicinity”

“Do not worry
I am in no hurry
My Toaster is under my bed
I am saving it for when I get wed”

“My Toaster is still in its box
It is presently surrounded by Neil’s socks”
Andrew says, “By the time you use it, it won’t be the latest brand”
Rachel getting annoyed, was now struggling with Freehand

Have you heard Rachel’s bought a Toaster for Ninety pounds Steve tells Rosie
“Ninety pounds says Rosie, it must be very nice, I must have a nosey”
Rachel now fearing the worst
Couldn’t help fretting about another outburst

“What are you worried about”, say Andy and Steve, “First night nerves?”
“Shut up you two, you are just a couple of perve’s,
Why did I end up at Akhter?
I would have been better off applying for the Krypton Factor”

“Leave Rachel alone”, defends Rosie
“I for one can wait until the right time when it will be really nice and cosy
What would we do without our favourite Chocolate Chuckle Chimp
Ignore Andrew, and old ‘ears’, for he is just a wimp”

Have you heard Rachel’s bought a Toaster for ninety pounds Rosie tells Anita
“Ninety pounds says Anita, this Toaster must be a bloody world beater!”
Rachel now struggling with the latest virus attack
Was reminiscing about the days when she worked on an Applemac

Have you heard Rachel’s bought a Toaster for ninety pounds Anita tells John
“Ninety pounds says John, in the head you must be gone”
Rachel looking forward to being the perfect host
Was not yet ready to serve tea and toast

Have you heard Rachel’s bought a Toaster for ninety pounds John tells Humayun
“Ninety pounds” , says Humayun, “That’s not cheap. Is it made of gold and iron?”
Rachel now moving on to Illustrator
Was soon thinking this was not a good indicator

“I cannot believe you paid that much
My God, you must be out of touch
Normally that would be quite funny
But I must be paying you too much money”

Rachel retorts, “You lot are becoming a bore
I cannot take any more”
Rachel, fed up with being a Graphic Designer
Left, to find her fortune in the hunt for Osama Bin Liner
…As a Web Designer!